Losing your virginity was definitely a big deal, even if you can’t remember it. While the slow, misguided spontaneity of your skin-on-skin pelvic thrusts may have not amounted to much, there was, however, a promising sound in the backdrop: the songs of sex you likely lost your virginity to.
While your cumming-of-age tale may have been missing a number of key ingredients (the art of cunnlingus) and might have ended with some unfortunate noises and awkward facial expressions, your tears were likly prefaced by some of the greats. Whether you interpret those greats as Jeff Buckley and Prince or Wheatus and Blink-182 is up to you. But we’re here to tell you that these songs likely shaped your earliest experiences of coitus, along with the man or woman you are today.
Having said that, enjoy the songs of sex and go back to a time when you shamelessly cried to Coldplay in the buff.
10 Songs of Sex To Which You Likely Lost Your Virginity
Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye
A little Marvin goes a long way when it comes to the boudoir. Although “Sexual Healing” might’ve been the more aptly used track, this one stands out as some classic post-Napster, pre-Spotify love-making music for young millennials.
Fix You by Coldplay
Any Coldplay song is going to be cause for tears on any occasion. The fact that you realized you didn’t know how to have sex to “Fix You” isn’t going to make that any less true.
Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd
If you were lucky enough to have a Dazed and Confused type of adolescence, this song hits right at home. If not, we suggest you go back and do it all over again, just like McConaughey in this amazing scene.
Careless Whisper by George Michael
As much as you’d like to think this is George Michael, it’s actually one of Mandatory’s own, Cory Dudak, rockin’ the sax. It may be safe to say he was rockin’ the sex because of it, even if it was the George Michael kind. Rest in peace, Georgie.
Swiss Army Romance by Dashboard Confessional
If you heard it once, you heard it a million times. The only thing worse is when you’re both singing it to each other mid-coitus. Now that’s a deflowering story to take to the grave.
I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly
While R. Kelly might’ve convinced you he could fly once upon a time, we now know he was just working up to pissing on you, which may have very well been the case of losing your virginity. You thought you were going to pee (you may have even said it), then you remembered Sex Ed lessons, the one with the banana and the condom and the overzealous teacher.
Purple Rain by Prince
Anyone born in the ’80s gets it. Coincidentally, you were probably watching the music video to “When Doves Cry” to get things going.
Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus
The only thing sadder than anybody losing their virginity to this song is the fact that a one-hit wonder had a music video with Jason Biggs that garnered more than 100 million views. That, and the name Wheatus.
Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
Sadly, very few of us got to lose it to this classic by one of the greats. Instead, we replace the image of us busting and blowing it to Wheatus with this very tragic hindsight.
Farmhouse by Phish
Actually, chances are it was just some random Phish song you can’t remember, especially if it was outdoors. That, or Smash Mouth. No? Just us? Oh.