2003 Was The Best Year Ever For Bad Movies You Secretly Love

If peak bad exists, 2003 was it.

Rob Feeby Rob Fee
Photo: New Line Cinema

The other day I was looking for a movie to turn on in the background while I was working. I didn’t want to watch anything recent because I would end up getting distracted and just focus on it the whole time. So I sorted my movies by year and went back 14 years (how in God’s name is 2003 FOURTEEN YEARS AGO??) and came to a shocking realization: 2003 was arguably the greatest guilty pleasure movie year of all time. Seriously, it gave us pretty much every movie (besides Twister) that you’ll watch on cable no matter how many times you’ve seen them. Let’s take a look at this magical year and appreciate the glorious trash we’ll treasure forever.

50 Films From 2003 That You Secretly Love

1. S.W.A.T.

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Columbia Pictures

There has never been a less accurate movie of what it’s like to be part of a S.W.A.T. team, but that cast is absolutely incredible.

2. Freddy vs. Jason

Remember when, out of nowhere, Monica Keena says, “Wait, Jason is afraid of water and Freddy is afraid of fire. How can we use that?” Plus, KELLY ROWLAND!

Also: Graduation Songs You Should Have Picked For The Last 25 Years

3. Paycheck

John Woo at his most John Woo-ness with a Philip K. Dick story that stars Ben Affleck and Aaron Eckhart. What more could you possibly want?

4. Daredevil

Have you ever wanted to watch the silhouette of Ben Affleck do karate moves to an Evanescence soundtrack? Then you’re in luck!

5. 2 Fast 2 Furious

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Universal Pictures

This is like attending John Lennon’s first birthday. You had no idea you were witnessing the first anniversary of what would grow up to be pure greatness.

6. The Recruit

In 2003, we were like, “Hey, can Colin Farrell be in literally every movie that’s released?”

7. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

I would watch 100 more Tomb Raider sequels if they made them. None of them have to be good, they just have to exist.

Also: Photos Of Alicia Vikander As The New Lara Croft In Tomb Raider

8. Bad Boys 2

Every comedy that parodies an action movie scene was inspired by Bad Boys 2. It’s perfect in every way.

9. Stuck on You

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: 20th Century Fox

Remember back in simpler times when the most edgy thing you could experience was a Farrelly Brothers movie?

10. Phone Booth

It’s Colin Farrell…but this time he’s in a phone booth!

11. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

The first movie was only half throttle. This time we’ve gone FULL THROTTLE. Is this Bill Murray’s finest work? Probably not. In fact, he didn’t even sign on for this sequel and was replaced with Bernie Mac.

12. Identity

Identity had the twist ending that literally every writer has come up with and was then told, “Ah sorry, Identity already did this.”

Also: All 12 M. Night Shyamalan Movies Ranked

13. The Last Samurai

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Warner Bros.

Tom Cruise saves all the Asian people! Hooray white people!

14. Underworld

Do you think Kate Beckinsale expected she’d be doing these movies for the rest of her life? Because I hope she realized that.

Also: Kate Beckinsale Shared Some Bikini Photos On Instagram

15. Freaky Friday

Lindsay Lohan should’ve won an award for her performance. A Teen Choice Award, but nonetheless, an award. I miss pre-breakdown Lindsay.

16. Agent Cody Banks

Maybe the only franchise that could convince us Frankie Muniz could be an action star.

17. Final Destination 2

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: New Line Cinema

It might not have been good enough for Devon Sawa, but it’s good enough for me.

18. Bringing Down the House

We finally got that Steve Martin/Queen Latifah collab we’d all been begging to see for decades!

19. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Sean Connery passed on Lord of the Rings to make this, so the least you could do is watch it when it comes on FX at 2 A.M.

20. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Can I be honest? This is the best version of the story since the original and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees.

Also: The 20 Most Underrated Horror Villains Of All Time

21. The Italian Job

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Paramount Pictures

Marky Mark made Mini Coopers look cool!

22. Kangaroo Jack

I would give anything to have been in the room when Jerry O’Connell heard the pitch for Kangaroo Jack and said, “Yes. I’ll do it.”

23. Gothika

The ’90s were pretty rough for horror, but this was one of those in between films that wasn’t quite good, but wasn’t completely terrible. It’s like a really good demo.

Also: 18 Reasons The ’90s Actually Sucked

24. Old School

Your brother still quotes it like it just came out yesterday.

25. The Rundown

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Univeral Pictures

As soon as you watched The Rundown you knew The Rock was going to be a star that didn’t have to share a headline with Seann William Scott.

26. X2: X-Men United

Remember when there were two or three superhero movies every year and not two or three movies that aren’t from DC or Marvel?

Also: Ranking The 10 Best Superhero Movies Of All Time

27. Shanghai Knights

Seriously, who was demanding to know more of the story from Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan’s version of Rush Hour in the old west?

28. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Is this the greatest romcom of all time???? Is it????

29. Out of Time

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: MGM

I feel like Denzel would wake up and say, “I want to play a cop again.” Then the studio would greenlight it and just start writing a script around him as they went. But like, in a good way?

30. Love Actually

You will see GIFs of Rick from The Walking Dead holding that “to me you are perfect” sign for the rest of eternity. Just accept it.

Also: The 14 Most Brutally Honest ‘The Walking Dead’ Memes

31. National Security

We used to build movies around Martin Lawrence catchphrases. What a time to be alive.

32. Cradle 2 the Grave

The marketing should’ve just been “THIS IS A MOVIE THAT STARS JET LI AND DMX. “

33. American Wedding

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Universal Pictures

Try saying “The dramatic conclusion to the American Pie trilogy” with a straight face.

34. Darkness Falls

Aren’t we due for a remake of this movie about an evil version of the tooth fairy? OK, maybe not right now.

Also: The Baby Teeth Traditions Are Freaking Messed Up

35. The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions

Remember how excited you were to go see these, and then how not excited you were to hear your weird cousin explain the spiritual and philosophical messages of the movie for the next decade?

36.  The Core

IT’S A MOVIE ABOUT TRAVELING TO THE CORE OF THE EARTH TO SET OFF NUCLEAR BOMBS AND JUMP-START IT.

37. Honey

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Universal Pictures

I feel like the pitch for Honey was Jessica Alba walking into a meeting, showing her abs, and then signing a contract.

38. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

Life used to be so simple.

Also: The 10 Most Underrated Comedies Of The Past 20 Years

39. Cabin Fever

Nothing will ever be better than that kid yelling “PANCAKES” while doing karate. Quote me on that.

40. Wrong Turn

They’re still making Wrong Turn movies, but none will ever be better (worse?) than the original story about inbred mountain mutants.

41. Duplex

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Miramax Films

Did you know Danny DeVito directed this???

42. Malibu’s Most Wanted

We were REALLY into Jamie Kennedy for a few years and he milked it for all it’s worth.

43. Timeline

Paul Walker is a time traveling archaeologist. That’s it. That’s all you need to know.

Also: 10 Clichés To Look Out For If You Ever Successfully Time Travel

44. Biker Boyz

“So the movie is called Biker Boys, but get this…’boys’ IS SPELLED WITH A FREAKIN’ Z!” (confetti falls from the ceiling and someone fires off an air horn a dozen times)

45. Anger Management

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Columbia Pictures

Jack Nicholson, arguably the greatest actor of our time, stars in a movie with Adam Sandler where he gets really mad all the time.

46. Hollywood Homicide

We finally got that Josh Hartnett/Harrison Ford buddy cop movie!

47. Spy Kids 3D: Game Over

I blame Spy Kids for the 3D movie craze that nearly ruined all of our lives.

Also: 3D Holographic Porn Is…Coming Soon To Your Home

48. The Cat in the Hat

Do you know how hard it is to be the WORST Mike Myers character of all time?

49. From Justin to Kelly

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: 20th Century Fox

I’m done.

50. Gigli

2003 bad movies secretly love

Photo: Columbia Pictures

I SAID I WAS DONE. YOU CAN STOP DOING THIS NOW.