Totals Recall: 1/10/10

Your thrifty shopping guide to the American movie box office.

Cal Kempby Cal Kemp

Totals Recall: 1/10/10

Welcome to the first installment of Totals Recall, a weekly look at what Americans spent at the movie theater over the weekend and a handy comparison to what else those box office totals could have been applied to.

1. TRUE GRIT

HOW MUCH DID IT MAKE?

$15,000,000

WHAT COULD WE HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD?

 

The Louisiana Purchase

 

Sure, the value may have gone up a little since 1803, but 15 million is exactly what the United States paid for a huge portion of what became 14 new states, including the totality of Arkansas, the setting for True Grit. What’s more, the deal included most of North Dakota. That matches the Coen’s latest and raises them a Fargo.

 

2. LITTLE FOCKERS

HOW MUCH DID IT MAKE?

$13,781,000

WHAT COULD WE HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD?

257 "Fuck"s

 

With Cee Lo Green’s "Fuck You" one of the most popular songs of the year and "Shit My Dad Says" airing as a primetime sitcom, how much longer can America possibly be entertained by the "I’m not touching you" consonance of the Meet the Parents sequels? Well, even if we were to pay the maximum FCC fines for broadcast swearing, this weekend’s receipts for LIttle Fockers would let us say the F-word 257 times. 

 

3. SEASON OF THE WITCH

 

HOW MUCH DID IT MAKE?

 $10,726,000

 WHAT COULD WE HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD?

 

 

Your own European Castle

 

It may lack the 14th century charm of the one featured in the new Nicolas Cage flick, but you can pick up your very own European castle for just about what Americans shelled out to see him fight the supernatural. Once it’s yours, dispose of your witches in it as you see fit.

4. TRON LEGACY

HOW MUCH DID IT MAKE?

$9,803,000

WHAT COULD WE HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD?

 

A Sheepman!

 

Going inside a computer may seem sci-fi nifty (especially if you manage to come out with Olivia Wilde), but it’s also tempting to use that money to play God and create monstrous freaks of nature! 9.8 million is the price it cost to create a human/sheep hybrid in 2007. Use it to harvest organs and, presumably, sweaters.

5. BLACK SWAN

HOW MUCH DID IT MAKE?

$8,350,000

WHAT COULD WE HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD?

11,133 actual swans

Some of the best acting and directing of the year is nothing compared to being able to surround yourself with swans. Thousands and thousands of swans. Thanks to bizarre people who sell swans on the internet, you can stock up in even black and white numbers, creating your very own swan army. From there, the possibilities are endless (though you’ll most likely end up becoming a Batman villain.)

Thanks to Box Office Mojo for the financial statistics.