The Top 5 Wastes of Time

The top five ways to sit around doing nothing... other then what you're doing now!

Sam Proofby Sam Proof


I’m sitting at a little café in Sunny Valley Village California, and these two gentlemen of some ethnicity I’m not going to call attention to are sitting at the next table having an extremely annoyingly loud conversation. So as I sit here trying to pump out yet another rousing article of hilarity, blame these two ass hats for it’s lack of comedy and just annoyance.


Also, jerk #2 is eating a very pungent tuna fish Panini. When the wind shifts, not only does he get louder, but the smell of warm fish destroys me.


So I present to you, if you find yourself in a place like this, where concentrating on the important things like doing taxes, writing a comedy article, what have you, is impossible…


The Top 5 Wastes of Time


1) Fun with Signs –


Jonathan Smith, the Director of Breast picture started this Niche tumblr, that’s childish, sophomoric and pretty damn hilarious. The premises is extremely simple A) find a sign B) block out key letters with your body parts C) take hilarious picture.




Nuff Said


2) Make Meaningless Poll after Meaningless Poll


If you feel like contributing the to 30 billion websites on the internet creating pointless content try out


With in seconds you can have yourself an embeddable poll taking widget to gather all the sweet sweet data from your friends family and random strangers



3) Explore Nature (at Home!)

That’s right you can swim with the whales, Virtually! With



You can get a sense of being right next to the world largest creature on the small screen! Is that a giant Navi Belly Button? No way man, that’s one sexy blow hole. “That’s what she said”


4) Human Centipede the Musical!

 That’s right, you heard me; your favorite gross out horror movie has been turned in to an on stage musical. The creative students from Emerson College, took it upon themselves to turn this horrible horror flick in to this master piece.


It’s broken up in to 7 parts you can see all of them here but get started with the first part here:



5) Flex your comedic Muscle – Podpocalypse Caption Contests


Feel like you need to be productive in your procrastination? Head over to podpocalypse for a near daily caption contest and leave your best headline, showing the world your mastery of chuckledom and prose.


Sam Proof is an LA based writer/director, founder and executive producer of Visit his website, or shoot him a tweet @samproof


What’s your favorite way to waste time? Tweet @samproof