YouTube is a mirror. It reflects the bad and the good, the unseemly and the divine. In this prismatic expression of the human experience you can see cute animals, big fails, and trailers of your favorite hit web series *cough* "First Edition" *cough*.
But YouTube's biggest problem is that ANYONE can use it. And SOME of those ANYONE are the most troubling people in the world. Charlie Manson with a flip cam. Think about it.
Of course there are varying degrees of awful, but the best defense against horrible memes or subcultures is knowledge. "Troubling YouTube Videos" (TYT, copyright pending) will compile the most odd, strange, and offbeat videos as an example of how the internet is slowly killing humanity.
So as the internet lets us bleed out on our hospital beds, breathing heavily over us, and as the sweet embrace of oblivion covers us like a palm…
…LET'S WATCH SOME KOOKY VIDS! (the last one is possibly NSFW)
At first glance this video seems harmless enough. The Queen music, the fond memories of playing the Super Nintendo or SNES for short, all seem to be pleasant and fun. Isn't is cool that the levels play along to the music? Isn't the designer clever and inventive? Wasn't Super Mario World a great game?
Until it dawns on you.
The hours upon hours of painstaking work and trial and error to build FOUR SEPARATE LEVELS that play out IN CONCERT is grounds for INSANITY. Imagine the type of obsessive compulsion you would need to suffer to even power through such an effort.
And does any of this please it's creator? Hell no. He/she (oh, let's be honest here…) HE is not pleased! In fact if you look at the associated links they probably made a dozen more videos, some of which are over 12 MINUTES LONG. And he's in competition with other crazy people making their own custom levels of Super Mario World!
So don't be fooled by it's brilliant choreography or precision planning; this YouTube video is Exhibit A for a troubled mind. We should pity him, not praise him.
Aren't scared enough…? This next video will literally KILL you…
Pokemon – Lavender Town Music
Just let that music play out while you read this.
When Pokemon was first released in Japan in the late 90's for the Game Boy it was actually released in three versions: Fire Red, Water Blue, and Leaf Green. The Leaf Green version had a few problems with it.
When players would reach the section of the game in Lavender Town, this disturbing melody would play. Lavender Town was the first section of the game where you could discover Ghost Pokemon, and the elegy is designed to give a sense of dread and foreboding. Well, apparently it worked really well because some children in Japan when they heard this melody for extended periods of time they killed themselves.
THAT IS MESSED UP.
Children when they are developing are able to hear frequencies that adults cannot. And for certain Japanese kids, this melody would abnormally effect their mental state: making them depressive, sad, and for a few, suicidal.
Of course this whole story is discarded by some as a big urban myth, as there exists no real concrete evidence that it ever happened…or was it a cover-up by Nintendo?
I just realized that this isn't that funny…OR IS THAT THE JOKE?
Time to move on to the ass jiggle…
Creepy-Ass Video Game Ass Perverts
How's that deafening silence feel? It's the sound of dignity leaving.
An entire channel on YouTube is dedicated to watching butts jiggle. Not real butts. Fake butts. Super classy stuff you should share with your whole family.
When did perverts get a hold of video games? Have they always been there? When I was young I had to sneak around to find my dad's old Playboys. Today, you just fire up your favorite game, back the female protagonist up to a corner, and watch the in game camera jostle around as it focuses in on her rumpus.
Whoever "Double00AA" is might be aware that he's seen as creepy. Maybe it's an elaborate hoax. But an "elaborate hoax" doesn't make a split screen comparison video of four different game versions of the same 17-year-old character "backing it up" for your horn dog friends.
But you know who has this pervert beat? "SniperMonkeySpore". Try to not to wretch:
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!