August Movie Guide

The damn dirty apes arrive this month! Along with them, another ten films to keep cool with this August. 

Johnny Firecloudby Johnny Firecloud

With the superhero frenzy behind us and the full fury of Summer’s heat upon us, it’s time to put our inner 8 year-olds to bed (they’ve had quite a run lately, thanks to Thor/Green Lantern/Transformers 3) and hit the theaters for some more varied fare. The release lineup for August is a promising one, with a few steps outside the traditional lines of feel-good Summer flicks. And of course, CraveOnline’s got all you need to know about the month’s releases, right here in the August Movie Guide.


Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Olivia Wilde

Directed By: David Dobkin

Opening: August 5

The Change Up centers on a responsible family man (Bateman) who switches bodies with his best friend, a lazy man-child (Reynolds). Hilarity undoubtedly ensues as the single most original plot concept in the history of cinema unfolds in what is sure to be side-splitting hilarity from start to finish. Right.

CraveOnline's Call:  If you missed the expertly nuanced sarcasm in the description, you might want to revisit. Both Reynolds and Bateman are at the top of their game, so there's undoubtedly a few laughs to be found here – so long as you don't expect any originality in the storyline.



Starring: James Franco, Brian Cox, Andy Serkis, John Lithgow

Directed By: Rupert Wyatt

Opening: August 5

Rise of the Apes is a completely new take on one of 20th Century Fox's most beloved and successful franchises. Oscar®-winning visual effects house Weta Digital – employing certain of the groundbreaking technologies developed for Avatar – will render, for the first time ever in the film series, photo-realistic apes rather than costumed actors.

Rise of the Apes is an origin story in the truest sense of the term. Set in present day San Francisco, the film is a reality-based cautionary tale, a science fiction/science fact blend, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.

CraveOnline's Call:  Those eyes! Franco be damned, we're in for this prequel – especially because the inevitable ending means that humans don't win. At least not this time.



Starring: Dianna Agron, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Naya Rivera

Directed By: Kevin Tancharoen

Opening: August 12

Twentieth Century Fox Television and Twentieth Century Fox Film have partnered with Glee creator Ryan Murphy to produce Glee Live! 3D!, a film of the blockbuster Glee Live! In Concert! North American tour. Twentieth Century Fox will release the film – for a special limited two-week engagement

CraveOnline's Call:  Also included in the ticket price: a strong likelihood of the sky ripping open and armageddon descending as the opening credits roll. Twee, pristine and chipper robot children lip-synch to pre-recorded songs and show the world that a solution to every problem is just a song away. Kill it with fire.




Starring: Miles Fisher, Arlen Escarpeta, Nicholas D'Agosto, Ellen Wroe

Directed By: Steven Quale

Opening: August 12

Death makes a killing in the next installment in the horror series which once again proves that no matter where you run, no matter where you hide…you can't cheat death.

CraveOnline's Call:If Death needs 5 sequels to get the job done, Death sucks and needs to be fired. Gore-porn freaks who like a little camp and ridiculousness, this one's for you. Again.



Starring: Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, Jesse Eisenberg, Nick Swardson

Directed By: Ruben Fleisher

Opening: August 12

In the action-comedy 30 Minutes or Less, Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) is a small town pizza delivery guy whose mundane life collides with the big plans of two wanna-be criminal masterminds (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson). The volatile duo kidnaps Nick and forces him to rob a bank. With mere hours to pull off the impossible task, Nick enlists the help of his ex-best friend, Chet (Aziz Ansari). As the clock ticks, the two must deal with the police, hired assassins, flamethrowers, and their own tumultuous relationship.

CraveOnline's Call:We know what we're getting here, and we know it's going to be goofy as hell. But that doesn't mean we're not excited to check it out. The mix of Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari and is enough to make us laugh on sight alone, and adding Nick Swardson to the mix is bound to result in some side-splitter moments.



Starring: Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas Howard, Mike Vogel

Directed By: Tate Taylor

Opening:August 12

Based on one of the most talked about books in years and a #1 New York Times best-selling phenomenon, “The Help” stars Emma Stone (“Easy A”) as Skeeter, Academy Award®–nominated Viola Davis (“Doubt”) as Aibileen and Octavia Spencer as Minny—three very different, extraordinary women in Mississippi during the 1960s, who build an unlikely friendship around a secret writing project that breaks societal rules and puts them all at risk. From their improbable alliance a remarkable sisterhood emerges, instilling all of them with the courage to transcend the lines that define them, and the realization that sometimes those lines are made to be crossed—even if it means bringing everyone in town face-to-face with the changing times.

CraveOnline's Call:  With a thinly veiled and overloaded jeering prejudice hiding just beneath the surface of the former declarations that Obama's presidency would bring about the "end of racism," now is a perfect time to tell the tale of a struggling yet persevering movement to bring about equality and true parallel humanity among races in America. The Help appears very well made, and Emma Stone takes a bite out of her meatiest role yet. We're in.




Starring: Jason Momoa, Rose McGowan, Stephen Lang, Ron Perlman

Directed By: Marcus Nispel

Opening:August 19

The most legendary Barbarian of all time is back this Summer. Having thrived and evolved for eight consecutive decades in the public imagination- in prose and graphics, on the big screen and small, in games and properties of all kinds- Conan’s exploits in the Hyborian Age now come alive like never before in a colossal 3D action-adventure film.

A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.

CraveOnline's Call: While Arnold twists in old-man hell, a shorthanded replacement arrives. There's got to be cause for concern when all the TV spots we see show the new Conan in half-second snippets that never amount to any true value. The special effects look pretty sick, but this is better left for Netflix or a plane ride.



Starring: Rupert Friend, Val Kilmer, Dean Cain, Andy Garcia

Directed By: Renny Harlin

Opening: August 19

5 Days of War is an action-packed international thriller from acclaimed director, Renny Harlin. Based on true events, this intense film is a vivid account of a renegade American journalist, his cameraman and a local woman caught behind enemy lines, and determined to not only survive, but tell the world what was happening, during the swift but devastating 5-day war between Russian and the Georgian Republic in 2008.

CraveOnline's Call:The trailer alone has us on the edge of our seats. This one looks compelling and riveting as all hell – and somehow, Andy Garcia manages to make a menacing villain of himself in about two seconds of screen time. Get there.



Starring: Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Colin Farrell, Toni Collette

Directed By: Craig Gillespie

Opening:August 19

Senior Charlie Brewster (Anton Yelchin) finally has it all going on: he’s running with the popular crowd and dating the most coveted girl in his high school. In fact, he’s so cool he’s even dissing his best friend. But trouble arrives when Jerry (Colin Farrell) moves in next door. He seems like a great guy at first, but there’s something not quite right—but everyone, including Charlie’s mom (Toni Collette), doesn’t notice. After observing some very strange activity, Charlie comes to an unmistakable conclusion: Jerry is a vampire preying on the neighborhood. Unable to convince anyone, Charlie has to find a way to get rid of the monster himself in this Craig Gillespie-helmed revamp of the comedy-horror classic.

CraveOnline's Call:  Cheeseball nonsense. Skip it unless you're 13. And a girl.



Starring: Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Steve Coogan

Directed By: Jesse Peretz

Opening: August 26

Rudd plays an idealist dealing with his overbearing mother who crashes into the homes of his three ambitious sisters and, in succession, brings truth, happiness and a sunny disposition into their lives while also wreaking havoc.

CraveOnline's Call:There's no way it can be worse than Dinner For Schmucks. Right? Rudd hasn't spoiled all his charm yet, so there may be something here. We'll give it the benefit of the doubt.