7 Frightening Ads For Chuck E. Cheese’s

A giant rat forces your children to eat disgusting food in this horrifying place.

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

You might remember Chuck E. Cheese as a fun place, but there are regular reports these days about child abductors and parents beating each other up in the parking lot at the old pizza time theater. Certainly, these commercials lead me to believe this kid’s birthday party spot is actually a world of animatronic nightmares. Behold, these 5 scary TV commercials for Chuck E. Cheese’s:


Smile America!

That’s right, America. Keep smiling. Pretend that the winking rat doesn’t have a gun to your child’s head.


Get Chuckified!

Uh… what?


In the Chuck E. Cheese universe, giant, child-eating crabs are real, so you’d better watch the f*** out.

Kid Check Stamps

All children must be stamped and catalogued! So says Chuck E. Cheese and the Council of Moms.


Welcome To The Chuck Zone

Another day, another spiraling vortex I can’t escape from.


Whoa, it’s a place where everyone keeps saying whoa! Whoa!


Check Out My Chuck Touch

“C’mon, little boy. Don’t you wanna feel my Chuck touch?”

EDITORS NOTE: Special bonus video! Here is the RiffTrax best-of video for our 5 year anniversary. Not only is fantastically hilarious… but if you fast forward to 4:14 you'll hear the sound I heard whenever that giant mouse talked to me as a kid: 


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans,” in comic book stores across the country. Header image from Babble.