Rumor has it that former 98 Degrees member, Nick Lacey is gunning to replace Regis Philbin as host of Live with Regis and Kelly! Which would make him a permanent fixture among daytime TV watchers (all 24 of them).
Mr. Lacey is probably best known for putting up with Jessica Simpson on their reality show Newlyweds on MTV. And although Lacey gained a certain amount of street-cred putting up with that stupid-train of a wife, Jessica Simpson, he most likely would turn Live with Nick and Kelly! into a mess.
We here at CRAVE Online have come up with some ideas that might serve the network better than Nick Lacey.
1. A Rock.
Known for it’s acting versatility and comedic timing, this rock would be able to keep up the mind-numbing banter way better than Lacey. With over a millennium of experience keeping cool under pressure, this rock could serve as a great co-host and even look pretty good on a billboard.
2. Un-popped Popcorn.
Explosive personality and unpredictability make this candidate to replace Regis way more interesting than Nick Lacey. While Kelly Ripa drones on about her mammograms, these un-popped kernels would keep audiences captivated thinking, “what will they do next?”
3. A Broken iPhone.
This candidate could out-preform circles around Nick. Why? Because the broken iPhone represents an everyman quality, an essence of anger and frustration living at the heart of every viewer. Unlike, Mr. Lacey, who’s only appeal is that he knows what Jessica Simpson’s nipples look like.
4. An Issue of a Sh-t 70’s B-Comic Book.
Dumb stories, mediocre art, and Atari advertisements make this candidate to replace Regis 10-times more interesting than Nick Lacey.
5. Buzz Saw from The Running Man.
This should be a no-brainer. Full of witty comebacks and one-liners, Buzz Saw would turn weekday mornings into a memorable bloodbath. Can you imagine the advertisements of Live with Kelly and Buzz Saw!?
6. A Carrot.
Nutritious and delicious, this vegetable would be a better host than Nick Lacey based on IQ alone.
7. Type-1 Diabetes.
Are you slowly dying? No? Because if you had type-1 diabetes, you’d probably be a lot more entertained than by Nick Lacey.
CRAVE Online is watching YOU.