The BIG Thanks List: Over 72 things to be thankful for!

Before you celebrate, remember-ate, all the things that make life worth it. Pics and videos inside! 

Sam Wellerby Sam Weller

The fallen leaves, and the brush of fall, give way to pleasant family memories. Before the turkey carving, and the drinking, or the veagan dish you'll guilt trip your family into, take a knee and think of all the things you're thankful for.

And it isn't "prayer" if you're doing it in a public school, it's just called "thinking time" there.

If you're stumped why life is still worth living, remember this list, during this time of giving,

"What I'm thankful for…"

 

1. Living in a free country, where stealing Wi-Fi from unsecured networks is rarely prosecuted


2. Having the choice of boxers or briefs depending on mood

 

3. The fuzzy stuff on your socks that burns up real good when you light it

 

 

4. Ballpark franks

 

5. Albert Einstein, who never gave a f***

 

6. Seasons 1 and 2 of Digimon: Digital Monsters

 

7. Girls who wear tight jeans

 

8. Guys who don't wear their jeans so low you can see their ass-crack

 

9. The Free Market…unless you lose money, then you hate the free market

 

10. Penalty kicks

 

11. That compilation video of Steven Seagal breaking people's bones

 

 

12. Jethro Tull, also flute solos

 

13. Movies about dancing animals

 

14. That satisfying "bathroom reading time" between 9 and 10 am on a Sunday

 

15. Enteman's Crumb Cake donuts

 

16. Not getting heart cancer…yet

 

17. My membership to Bally's that I haven't canceled yet, for reminding me I'm a human who makes mistakes

 

18. Sofia Vergara for having a "life affirming" pair of mammaries, thanks!

 

 

19. Bums that smile when you give them a sandwich and then curse at you because they can't control themselves

 

20. Piano bars with people that are actually GOOD at playing the piano

 

21. Hitting all the green lights

 

22. Having someone buy a drink for you

 

23. Having someone buy a drink for you and then not asking you to pay

 

24. English Bulldogs

 

25. Scratching your crotch in public and no one notices

 

26. Beating your high score in Tetris

 

27. Sufficient handicap parking for your grandma at the mall

 

28. Fried Twinkies

 

29. White Castle burgers that are frozen and sold near your house, even if they cost $3 more than they're worth

 

30. "Bronies"

 

 

31. Not being hungover after a night of non-stop drinking

 

32. Hair pins

 

33. That period of time after college and before you move out of your parent's house, or "adult-hood hasn't started yet" time

 

34. The German Suplex

 

35. Godzilla movies

 

36. That change you find in your favorite jacket or pant

 

37. Keeping a full charge on your iPhone when you haven't plugged it in in awhile

 

38. Sick days from work to avoid your awful, awful, soul crushing job

 

39. Chicken, in all forms

 

40. The History Channel, to remind us again and again what 1940's Europe was like

 

41. Tiger Woods' professional implosion, giving us all a chance to be winners again!

 

42. That awesome lesbian scene in Black Swan

 

43. Mods for Grand Theft Auto

 

 

44. Hats

 

45. Children that know when to stay quiet

 

46. That first day you "fall back an hour" and get extra sleep

 

47. Sunshine

 

48. Bj's (…but which one? *rimshot*)

 

49. A whole weekend of Ninja Warrior on G4

 

50. Never holding a political office in a banana republic, where the chances of assassination are high

 

51. Not having my old gym teacher show up as an alleged pedophile on the news

 

52. Gas that's less than $4

 

53. Finally "unsubscribing" from that one Facebook friend you don't know

 

54. Getting drunk texts

 

55. Sending drunk texts

 

56. Having the wherewithal to delete the drunk texts before your girlfriend/boyfriend finds your phone        

 

57. Sneaking a flask into work

 

58. The miracle of not being fired because you're drunk on the job

 

59. Your dad being proud of you

 

60. Your dad speaking to you

 

61. Complementary psych evaluations

 

62. Denny's $2 menu

 

63. Car crash videos

 

64. The Fonz

 

 

65. Scratching that itch right in the middle of your back…yeah, right there…ahhhh…

 

66. Historectomy with Christian Krauspe and Sam Weller

 

67. Having a clean bathroom (bonus points if YOU cleaned it!)

 

68. A haircut where the lady actually cuts your hair right

 

69. Body lotions

 

70. The admiration of your peers

 

71. Making your peers fear you

 

72. The country of Japan, for giving us f***ed up cartoons and samurai

 

73. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who beat cancer and did cocaine for over 20 years

 

74. Power naps in the middle of the day

 

75. Thanksgiving leftovers

 

76. Geoffrey Golden, whose header image I totally ripped off for this article

 

77. Love…it's all you need

 


 

 


WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR!!!!!?????!!!!!

 

For more giving of thanks please follow @cravesam he'd appreciate it